MASTURBATION AND I

Let me begin by saying that you can’t pour out what is not in you. An empty bowl would pour out nothing, a bowl full of vanilla would pour out vanilla and likewise a bowl filled with maggots.
How does that relate? You can never masturbate if you have no dirty picture inside you. That is that.
I got addicted to masturbation due to the fact that I had been exposed to pornography around the beginning of my teen years. The pornography filled me and became an ocean. Headlessly, I continued devouring more pornographic items. I watched it on friends phone’s in school, I saw friends shamelessly practice soft porn in my front and as I grew and ‘sinfully’ got a smart phone in my hands, I began having them on my phone. I had a memory card specially for them, so as not to be caught by couple of people like parents and teachers. I began to turn into a dog, I started practicing crazy tricks on girls who seemed to never even care about their bodies. It got worse as people began to embrace my watching it and they always wanted to lend my phone to watch it. I knew several porn sites and would spend time and money downloading them. I had over 40 videos and about a hundred pictures on one memory card. My sexual urge began to press for sex. I knew I had no oppourtunity due to my ‘protective’ parents and I also was shy to woo one of my classmates to do it with me. I had offers from girls to do things like that but I was too shy and eyes were watching me, I was dying for an oppourtunity to have sex but none came. Then and then did Mr.Masturbation come knocking and I held the door wide open for him then hurriedly invited him to stay. I began masturbating like hell. I could masturbate about 5times or even more in one single day. I began loving it and was suspected only on few occasions. Lots of my trousers began to get soiled with white liquid and I always had to hide them.
But, after I gave and even before I gave my life to Christ, I began feeling bad about it and I tried stopping but realised I was stuck and couldn’t get out. At the time I was quitting little by little, I heard a Pastor of a certain church said masturbation was good so I stopped quitting and continued. Despite that, I still felt it was not right but I used the pastor’s word as an excuse.
Masturbation continued for years. I gave my life to Christ and began writting it as my prayerpoint in almost every prayerslip I was given. I hated masturbation but was still in its prison. I joined mine teenage ministry and read club five edition of mine magazine. I tried almost or if not everything people adviced In the magazine but it did not work. It got quite crazy and I spoke with Asp.Lekan Aremo(@Aremotobi) but it did not still leave. I began to think it was a permanent bondage until early this year when I began to do midnight personal time to carry ‘fire’ that would sustain me for the day. I noticed that anyday I do not or do my midnight personal time with God late or I do not take communion or take it late, I was prone to be caught by masturbation or lust.
And that was how masturbation held me bond for about 6-7 years.
Dated 5/3/16

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